Prison

by Summer Jaynes

I'm sitten here at Rockville Prison looking out the bars thinking to myself, "When will this end?" "Will I learn my lesson and never get into trouble again?" This is not somewhere I would want to stay longer than I have to. "Girls!" Not women! They are so rude & loud & disrespectful. I don't want to say nothing because I don't want to get into trouble this is very hard for me "to shut my mouth." I daydream a lot. I think of all the memories I have or I sleep so I can dream. The dreams take me in to a different world, a better place than this.

Some of the girls date each other, most of the time all this means is girl write love letters to other girls. I think it helps them cope with this place. Maybe they need love or just want to fit in. I don't do this, it's not in my world to be something I'm not. Yes, I've had sex with women but I love men, not women, that's just me. Besides, some of these girls are crazy. If they fall in love with you, they will try to get you in trouble just so you will stay here with them. It's crazy but hey some of these girls are crazy. I know one girls who pulls her hair out just because this other girls cuts her arms. Yes, this is not a place I want to be. But here I sit.

None of my friends write me anymore. They all forgot about me months ago. My family don't care. They know I will survive. It's very lonely here. I miss my kids, I miss my life. When will this end? I'm in a fog, drifting by, I'm numb but I hurt on the inside at the same time. This is a nightmare. Someday I will wake up and it will all be over but for now I have to stay in hell until God blesses me. Here I wait.